Page 65 - Dark Matter Issue5 Part II

face of the upstairs neighbor greeted me. The hall was cleaned up and he’d almost

finished installing a new window. “Hi, are you okay? My wife, Dale, came down and

looked for you after we heard the glass break and all the commotion. She cleaned

things up a bit and sent me to the hardware store. I’ll be finished here in a little while.” I

couldn’t speak. “Your mother doesn’t seem to be home yet. Dale’s making lunch and

said to send you up when you got back. Why don’t you go on upstairs now?” My mother

didn’t return again that night. They invited me to sleep on their couch. I shook my head

no but smiled and clutched the “just in case you change your mind” key tight in my

closed fist. Dale told me to keep the key just in case there was another time. I was both

intrigued and frightened by their kindness, which didn’t seem to want anything in return.

My mother didn’t return for several days. Dale sought me out, bringing food and

friendship. She always asked if I wanted to change my mind and sleep on the couch. I

knew I’d be in trouble with my mother if I did, so said no each time, letting her caring and

the key be more than enough.

Dale was stunningly beautiful, with the raven-haired, porcelain- skinned beauty that

made young Elizabeth Taylor a star. And she was kind to me. I was enchanted.

For the next several months, Dale warmed me with grown-up attention. She noticed if I

was cleaner, or happier or sadder. She often made cookies to share, and I’d pretend

she’d made them just for me.

I had lived in a realm of shadows and dead expectation for so long that until the day

when Dale and her husband were to move away, I hadn’t realized how I had come to

cherish and depend on those small crumbs of attention from her. “She’s just got to be

my friend,” I mumbled as I made the slow and painful climb up the stairs to say

goodbye. I hoped she wouldn’t see my legs and arms, left bruised by Oscar, one of my

mother’s regulars, when he pounded me into the bed down to the springs the night

before, giving her enough money for her beer and cigarettes for several days. I tried to

focus on the flowers I’d picked from the courthouse lawn as a surprise. But the grief and

terror of Dale’s departure overtook me. I choked back tears, my panic mounting with

each step.