Page 185 - Dark Matter Issue5 Part II

For years before and after my parents told me their Holocaust stories, I dreamed

recurrently of an un-nameable Onslaught on its way to destroy everything in its path. In

the dream, I am trying to save myself and others, packing my bags to get on a train,

unable to pack quickly enough to escape the approaching cataclysm. The dream always

ends with a feeling of overwhelming dread.

The dreadful menace in this dream is personified for me now, in 21st century America, by

Donald Trump. My childhood fear that the world is not safe is now a common feeling for

millions of Americans who have been privileged enough never to have felt it before.

Who feels safe in America today? If you’re not afraid, you’ve either drunk Trump’s Kool-

Aid or you’re not paying attention. What we’re witnessing is the advance of a uniquely

American brand of fascism. Especially if you’re anyone with a history of anxiety,

depression, or trauma, it feels like there’s no place to rest. Not in the past. Not in the

imagined future. And not in the present, with its escalating madness. In a time of rising

chaos, as Trump’s administration and a fascist-enabling Republican Congress do their

best to actively disable or passively collaborate with the dismantling of democracy, our

collective dreams carry the truth that is either intentionally or unwittingly obfuscated by

the White House and the media.

***

In the weeks and months following the election and inauguration of Donald Trump, I

began to fill a dream journal with nightmares. The feeling of radical unsafety is the heart

of most of these dreams; being hunted, losing my children are recurrent themes. There

are three that seem particularly important at this time. I have listed them in sequence.

Dream #1

I am living in a new house and looking out glass doors at the length of the backyard. At

first glance this is a luxurious strip of land but looking closer I see that the land is

completely arid and desiccated. The soil is cracked and yellow and marked with deep

crevices. Looking out to the left I see the ocean and think “Oh! Ocean view property!”